a little light of our own

by american poetry club

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  • the tape of self-esteem!
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    usual nonsense! tape and a note and a zine and whatever stickers and other goobers i can find around my house!

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a message from j.c. - "i love my friends so much, i hope this reminds you of how much you love yours. thank you so much for supporting us, it has meant everything, this will be our last record in this form, whatever that means."

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co-release with Feels So Reel:


released June 12, 2019

j. c. weinstock
andy lewis
connor sbrocco
kaley macleod
sang-jin lee
zoë finkelstein
jake zelikovsky
kay ingulli

peter flynn auer - organ, recording, mixing, mastering, magic
ziggy ziegelmueller - studio assistant

art by sang-jin
photo by isa sabraw


all rights reserved



It Takes Time Records St. Louis, Missouri

Jordan Weinstock, Mickey Yacyshyn, and Ethan Bookstein put out the groovy stuff

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Track Name: in your own way, at your own pace, pulling through!

you don't have to be happy all the time
it is something that you practice, it's a mountain that you climb
and if you think you are struggling alone just to be fine
know that i am always right here next to you, i am always by your side
Track Name: as slow and as vast as our love can take
there is nothing but compulsion here
you lost something in return
i am sorry if i was not clear
but you were busy taking life out of my lungs
sometimes all yer friends will disappear
there's no promise you'll be fine
i am sorry that i won't be here
you are improving, getting stronger all the time

and if you cannot breath again
you will find a moment when
you don't miss the way you hated you back then
Track Name: sad song 7
i wanna look my best
when i get undressed
and i hope
you're not disappointed
and i have always known
that when you get home
after we hang
i feel less alone

turn out the lights
so i can hopefully
feel at home tonight
with you haunting me

i hope that when i die
it's exactly when you do
we'll be old and we'll have done
all the things that we wanna do
i know i'll never get too bored
cause every day is something new
remember all the things i am
and all the things i listen to
the things i listen to
they make me feel so good
they make me feel so
they make me feel so

turn out the lights
so i can hopefully
feel at home tonight
with you haunting me
Track Name: summer of the century
i wish that we'd met freshman year
we could've been so much closer
we could've been way past here
and i wish i hadn't fucked up when you were last here
was just trying to be sincere

i've spent my summers feeling bored
i don't care about anything anymore
you can listen to martha's "sycamore"
while we read books at the bookstore
take it back take it back what you said to me
you didn't waste my time i'm always free
that's a promise i can guarantee
when we hang it means so much to me
when we hang it means so much to me

what you feel is alright don't worry you burn bright
how you think is okay please do this your own way
Track Name: pro pic
you call me up
exclaiming "god forbid"
you apologize (for)
something you never did
shouldn't have brought this up
but i'm glad that you did
we haven't spoke that much
don't wanna wake the kid

our god brought down a flood with no relief
you hadn't meant to hurt you only meant to test belief
i found myself alone but on my feet
i hadn't meant to hurt i only meant for clarity

we never spoke again
i guess that this was meant to be our final night
still see yer pro pic now and then
i can never tell which one of us was right
i'm glad you were my friend
you were honestly genuine all the time
i will be feeling better when
i’ll have to try and find another reason why
Track Name: bottle cap
it's the policy of the rhythm
that you will see what you thought lost so long ago
cause i know yer stuck in the middle
but i don't think that's a thing you need to know
cause i lost track of the things that you do to me
the way my vacant heart just soars up to the sky
sing it loud and sing it easily
we can do what we want know all we have to do is try
cause i lost track of the things that you do to me
the way my vacant heart just soars up to the sky
sing it loud and sing it easily
we can do what we want know all you have to do is try

the way you talk about those things
you know i can't help but sing when i catch you next to me
and we're in harmony
the way you laugh, the way you smell
oh lord i'm going straight to hell
if i can't make you see
what you mean to me
Track Name: hampton ave
when i think of home i get the feeling that i ought to
feel like i'm at home or at least like it was thought through
"if you really thought about it you could visualize"
all i can think about is courtesy and little drives
you said "it's okay
you will feel healthier if you only pray"
but am i tough enough to try and stay away?

you won't always feel comfortable
it isn't always so serious
half of the time
i find you fearless
my house is close by
i can feel it near here
my light is growing
my heart is clear
Track Name: snbm
i love who i am
you can't take that away from me nobody can
it's not going as planned
but it never and if it was it would be a boring program
i love who i'll be
gonna try to make the best of it no matter how it seems
i'm gonna gather up debris
and build the best monument to life ever seen
no more low self-esteem
we're gonna be all we dream
we are bursting at the seam
we are a brilliant sunbeam

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