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a little light of our own

by american poetry club

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  • the tape of self-esteem!
    Cassette + Digital Album

    usual nonsense! tape and a note and a zine and whatever stickers and other goobers i can find around my house!

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ahhhh ahhhh you don't have to be happy all the time it is something that you practice, it's a mountain that you climb and if you think you are struggling alone just to be fine know that i am always right here next to you, i am always by your side
there is nothing but compulsion here you lost something in return i am sorry if i was not clear but you were busy taking life out of my lungs sometimes all yer friends will disappear there's no promise you'll be fine i am sorry that i won't be here you are improving, getting stronger all the time and if you cannot breath again you will find a moment when you don't miss the way you hated you back then
sad song 7 03:16
i wanna look my best when i get undressed and i hope you're not disappointed and i have always known that when you get home after we hang i feel less alone turn out the lights so i can hopefully feel at home tonight with you haunting me i hope that when i die it's exactly when you do we'll be old and we'll have done all the things that we wanna do i know i'll never get too bored cause every day is something new remember all the things i am and all the things i listen to the things i listen to they make me feel so good they make me feel so they make me feel so turn out the lights so i can hopefully feel at home tonight with you haunting me
i wish that we'd met freshman year we could've been so much closer we could've been way past here and i wish i hadn't fucked up when you were last here was just trying to be sincere i've spent my summers feeling bored i don't care about anything anymore you can listen to martha's "sycamore" while we read books at the bookstore take it back take it back what you said to me you didn't waste my time i'm always free that's a promise i can guarantee when we hang it means so much to me when we hang it means so much to me what you feel is alright don't worry you burn bright how you think is okay please do this your own way
pro pic 03:37
you call me up exclaiming "god forbid" you apologize (for) something you never did shouldn't have brought this up but i'm glad that you did we haven't spoke that much don't wanna wake the kid our god brought down a flood with no relief you hadn't meant to hurt you only meant to test belief i found myself alone but on my feet i hadn't meant to hurt i only meant for clarity we never spoke again i guess that this was meant to be our final night still see yer pro pic now and then i can never tell which one of us was right i'm glad you were my friend you were honestly genuine all the time i will be feeling better when i’ll have to try and find another reason why
bottle cap 02:52
it's the policy of the rhythm that you will see what you thought lost so long ago cause i know yer stuck in the middle but i don't think that's a thing you need to know cause i lost track of the things that you do to me the way my vacant heart just soars up to the sky sing it loud and sing it easily we can do what we want know all we have to do is try cause i lost track of the things that you do to me the way my vacant heart just soars up to the sky sing it loud and sing it easily we can do what we want know all you have to do is try the way you talk about those things you know i can't help but sing when i catch you next to me and we're in harmony the way you laugh, the way you smell oh lord i'm going straight to hell if i can't make you see what you mean to me
hampton ave 03:11
when i think of home i get the feeling that i ought to feel like i'm at home or at least like it was thought through "if you really thought about it you could visualize" all i can think about is courtesy and little drives you said "it's okay you will feel healthier if you only pray" but am i tough enough to try and stay away? you won't always feel comfortable it isn't always so serious half of the time i find you fearless my house is close by i can feel it near here my light is growing my heart is clear
snbm 02:58
i love who i am you can't take that away from me nobody can it's not going as planned but it never and if it was it would be a boring program i love who i'll be gonna try to make the best of it no matter how it seems i'm gonna gather up debris and build the best monument to life ever seen no more low self-esteem we're gonna be all we dream we are bursting at the seam we are a brilliant sunbeam


a message from j.c. - "i love my friends so much, i hope this reminds you of how much you love yours. thank you so much for supporting us, it has meant everything, this will be our last record in this form, whatever that means."

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co-release with Feels So Reel:


released June 12, 2019

j. c. weinstock
andy lewis
connor sbrocco
kaley macleod
sang-jin lee
zoë finkelstein
jake zelikovsky
kay ingulli

peter flynn auer - organ, recording, mixing, mastering, magic
ziggy ziegelmueller - studio assistant

art by sang-jin
photo by isa sabraw


all rights reserved



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